Wayne Palmer's world was torn apart when his mum and best friend Steph died of breast cancer in 2009. But instead of being defeated by grief he set out on a ferocious fundraising drive. He talks to MARION SAUVEBOIS

WHETHER they survive or watch helpless from the side-lines, no-one escapes cancer unscathed.

Left behind to pick up the pieces after the death of his mother to breast cancer, Wayne Palmer recalls the agonising months spent grappling with the weight of her absence.

“My mum was my best mate,” says the 45-year-old wistfully. “It was very difficult for me to deal with losing her. It changed my life completely.”

Steph Palmer had “done everything right”, Wayne recalls with emotion. The 57-year-old had received regular check-ups and undergone a mammogram only six months before being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer in August 2008. By July 2009, she was gone.

“My brother brought his wedding forward twice but in the end she died 18 days before he got married,” he adds, his voice trailing off. “Nothing was picked up in the mammogram in February and in August she detected something and went to have it checked but it was too late.”

His aunt had only recently been given the all-clear from breast cancer when his mother was diagnosed. Wayne’s other aunt also battled breast cancer but survived.

Supporting his dying mother throughout took its emotional toll on Wayne as he set aside his own feelings and hid his distress to be the strong, reassuring confidante she so desperately needed. Putting on a brave face as she candidly described her fears and losing battle with the disease was excruciating.

“The hardest part was being a strong person for my mum,” confides Wayne, originally from Trowbridge. “Inside I would break to pieces but I would listen and stay strong for her. She needed that. I had to be there for my best mate.

“She needed somebody to give her the normality she wanted. She spoke to me very honestly and it was hard. She couldn’t talk to people in the family because they would get emotional.”

Coming to terms with life without his closest friend was heart-wrenching. But, thanks to the Dorothy House counselling team’s support, he slowly found a way to cope with his unspeakable grief.

Wayne first dipped his toes in fundraising ten years ago, shortly after his aunt received the all-clear, by launching a Ladies’ Night in Melksham complete with a catwalk show to mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Now held at the Civic Centre in Trowbridge, it has become a flagship charity event spread across four evenings and has raised around £90,000 for Breast Cancer Care and Dorothy House.

“The response has been great,” he enthuses. “We have about 1,000 women taking part. Survivors take part in the fashion show and it’s really helped build their confidence. The first year that we did it the response was incredible. We had husbands and daughters coming up to us saying, ‘we’ve got our wife or mum back’. They had a twinkle in their eye. We didn’t realise it would make such a difference.”

Due to the recent passing of members of his loyal band of campaigners, which has deeply affected him and fellow volunteers, for the first time in nearly a decade Wayne and the team have taken the decision to cancel the fundraiser this October.

Over the years he has volunteered at Breast Cancer Care’s fashion show in the capital and the Pink Ribbonwalk, which he and husband Dale have helped to coordinate for the past three years. He actually met Dale volunteering at Blenheim Palace’s Pink Ribbonwalk in 2011.

“It fell on my mum’s birthday and I walked in her memory wearing white angel wings,” says Wayne, who owns event planning firm Cow Parsley with Dale. “Everyone else was wearing pink so the white wings stood out. Dale was working there, in logistics, and he noticed me. That’s how we met. He proposed to me at the Ladies’ Night in 2013.”

His unflagging efforts to eradicate cancer are not merely for his mother, he insists, but all people in his life struck by the disease.

However her memory will always remain his main driving force.

“I can’t bring my mum back but I can still carry on doing what I’m doing and raise awareness. It was so tragic for me but, rather than feel sorry for myself, I want to help others. I’m trying to make sure that people don’t have go through it.

“I won’t stop until there’s a cure. It’s part of my being now.”