MONEY isn’t supposed to buy you happiness but I have to marvel at the amount of miserable people who are clearly rolling in it. Take the couples who appear on Relocation Relocation – all of them are high-flying thirtysomethings who have made a mint in London and now want to flash their cash by buying a country pile and a city crash pad.

All are after a quiet, picturesque location and room for the family and a short commute to work. Step in Phil and Kirsty to help them find their dream home… so far, so good. After all, they have a budget of £650,000 to work with, should be a cinch.

So, as the barman said to the horse, why the long face? Is it not possible to raise a smile over a six-bed Victorian mansion with three acres and a hot tub? Apparently not. Shuffling from room to room with a look like you’ve stepped in something smelly, bemoaning the amount of work you’ll have to do to bring it ‘up to scratch’ – “It doesn’t have a wireless sound system,” “Where’s the granite worktop?” and “Ooh, that 20ft kitchen is a bit small.” At which point Kirsty rolls her eyes.

Come on. Think yourselves lucky you can ‘live the dream’. With most people struggling to get on the property ladder and then spending all their cash on making their homes habitable, don’t you think you’re being a tad ungrateful for the privileged position you are in?