Modern parents want their children to have the best of everything, and be the best at everything. But to achieve that, many of them become ‘hyper parents’ caught in a quagmire of competitiveness and high-achievement - which can leave their children without a chance to enjoy simply being a child.

Instead, they need to relax and just let their kids be, says Carl Honore, author of new book Under Pressure [Orion Books, £16.99], which encourages parents to ease off and just trust their instincts.

Honore explains: “Hyper-parenting is good parenting run amok. It starts in a very natural and noble place, which is to do the best for our children, but in the last generation that’s morphed into something extreme, where we feel under pressure to push, polish and protect our kids.

“There’s a strange kind of frenzy around child-rearing now, where we feel there are just two options - one is that your child is in Mensa by nine and on the Sunday Times Rich List by 22, and the other option is that they drop out and sleep under a bridge.

“There’s a strange all-or-nothing mania attached to today’s parenting.”

He says such hyper-parenting manifests itself in all aspects of child-rearing, from screaming on the touchlines at youth football matches, to parents micro-managing their children’s schedules.

However, he acknowledges that it’s not just parents who are to blame for the current culture - the advertising industry, officials who set targets for children’s every waking move, and the media have a lot to answer for too.

“I’m not trying to blame or demonise parents - we’re as much victims of this cultural shift as anyone else,” stresses Honore.

He suggests parents should take a more laid-back approach to child-rearing by starting with the “weird paradox” of scheduling unscheduled time.

“Set aside at least an hour a day when children are left to their own devices to do things like make mud pies or kick a football.

“All the research shows that unstructured, free play is just what kids need. It’s where they work out how to think creatively, how to get on with each other and how to have fun and work out who they are, rather than who we want them to be.”

He also suggests parents should strive to “take at least a week’s breather from the avalanche of parenting advice” available, because “it ends up eroding our confidence rather than building it.”

When it comes to children’s extra-curricular activities, he says parents should try dropping them off and leaving them to take part in clubs alone.

“Just create some distance and ease off some of the pressure children feel when their parents are hovering.”

And instead of wrapping their kids in cotton wool, parents should think about how old they were when they took ‘risks’ like walking to the park alone, and let their own children do it at a similar age.

“There are no more paedophiles than there were 25 years ago, and a lot of roads are actually safer because of traffic calming measures.

“In a lot of ways it’s no more dangerous than it was before. The trouble is we think it is because of the media coverage which feeds into this culture of fear.”

Finally, Honore says that parents who want to “take a step off this manic treadmill” should make an effort to find other parents who feel the same.

“There’s a lot of them out there. Often everybody’s thinking the same thing - “How did we get here and what can we do to get out of it?” - but who’s going to take the first step?

“It’s very hard to buck the trend and it takes courage, but ultimately it’s a lot more satisfying and it’s a lot better for the children.

“Relax and trust your instincts, shut out the pressure from outside, and it will be okay.

“A lot of the joy of being a parent will come back when you ease off a bit, and your kids will be a lot more prepared for life in general.”